The Cost of Relationships

If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

Luke 14:26

Jesus set out to Jerusalem and the crowds were quite sure He was ready to deal with the religious leaders, as well as overthrow the Roman government. Any political consultant of the day would have predicted that Jesus had a very good chance of successfully meeting the interests of the people. The large crowds were following Him and, in all likelihood, they would continue to grow the closer He goes to the city. All of a sudden, Jesus turns around and clearly shares these striking words with those who were following Him.

Do these words strike you as odd? Perhaps a little too bold, or even rude? Note with me that Jesus addresses the crowd knowing that many wanted to be His disciple. However, in an effort to articulate the costs associated with being a disciple Jesus sets the bar quite high by challenging the crowd to seriously reconsider the most meaningful relationships. He does not settle for simply asking them to temporarily rearrange their priorities, or be willing to make a small sacrifice if necessary. Jesus demands that those who wish to be His disciples are required to “hate” all of their relationships (father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters). The disciple of Christ must be wiling to part with both the comfort, an apparent value, and prominence gained via those relationships.

In Matthew 10:37, Jesus said, “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” Wait a minute? Are we not commanded to love one another? (John 15:17) Didn’t Jesus remind us that we are to honor our father and mother? (Matthew 19:19) At first glance these passages seem to present a contradiction. However, upon further study, you discover that Jesus is making two important points. One, the love Jesus demands of His disciple is one of absolute commitment, desire, devotion, loyalty, passion, affection, and resolve. Jesus demands all of you…right up front. Note with me that Jesus shares these words with all who were going along with Him. In other words, He makes no distinction between the new believer versus one who is seasoned, or well-established in a discipleship program. Two, the love a disciple expresses toward others and in obedience to John 15:17 and Matthew 19:19, can only take place as a result of loving Jesus with all of his heart, soul, strength and mind. (Luke 10:27) All too often today’s “disciple” tries to add Jesus to the list of individuals he already loves. As a result, the disciple is not able to truly make a complete and absolute commitment to Him.

The Psalmist, Asaph, poses a question followed by a remarkable statement in Psalm 73:25, “Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.” How would you answer that question? Can you honestly make that statement to the One who laid down His life for you? Evaluate the relationships in your life in order to identify if any of them will prevent you from being His disciple.

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